A Burger Epic: How Man vs Food Lead Me to Red Mill Burgers

As mentioned before, this blog is about food. Though cooking is fun, we all do it with one goal in mind: stuffing our faces. Now if 'stuffing your face' makes you think of someone with comical chipmunk cheeks stuffed full of delectible eatables, good. That is EXACTLY what happened to me when I visited Red Mill Burgers.  

First off: YUM. But more on that later. This wild jaunt to Red Mill began when my sister turned me on to a wonderful little show called Man vs Food. For those of you who have never seen or heard of this show,  it airs on the Travel Channel and features Adam Richman, a foodie who travels the United States showcasing some of the most celebrated restaurants and taking on outrageous food challenges that would make lesser mortals tremble in fear like a chihuahua on the 4th of July. One of these episodes showcased my hometown Seattle, Washington so naturally I had to watch it (check it out). Lo and behold, there was Red Mill Burgers, a mere hour from my house! Located at N 67th and Phinney, 10 blocks north of the Woodland Park Zoo, The trip was well worth it. With high hopes, myself, my sister, and my neighbor set out to commence my sisters 'Summer of 1000 Noms' (her goal is to eat at as many delicious and unusual places as she can manage in a single summer). 

The Dream as a Reality

As mentioned before, the drive was an hour from my house. No problems there, I'm willing to travel for good food (that and my neighbor was kind enough to drive us in her deceptively awesome little Jetta). It was a little bit of a pain to navigate around the Woodland Park Zoo, and when we arrived at 7pm there were quite a few who had the same idea as us. Parking was a little hard to find, but after a jaunt around the block we noticed a spot open up in Red Mill's tiny parking lot.

After much rejoicing on our sweet parking score, we made our way into the tiny building that housed the most delicious burgers I have ever had. I knew we were in for a treat when we wlked up to the door and saw this:

Yes, those are all the awards and ratings this haven of burger magic had racked up over the past few years, and that's not even all of them, just the ones I could fit nicely into the shot. Not to mention all the shows their food has been featured on (such as Oprah and Man vs Food) and the fact that their Onion rings were dubbed the best in the nation.

We walked in and the smell hit us: a wall of tantalizing charbroiled fumes that would make even a vegetarians mouth water (did I mention they have vegetarian options as well?) I was like a kid in a candy shop, but better because it was burgers. It was time to look at the menu.


What do You Buy When Everything Looks Amazing?

The menu at Red Mill is your basic burger joint fare but don't let that fool you, their food is anything but basic. Before I go into detail, let me warn you THEY ONLY TAKE CASH OR CHECK!!! That is important to note in this age of plastic money. With that, here are some of their menu choices:

Shakes: They have roughly 20 flavors of shakes, including their special flavors, ranging from the basics, such as chocolate, to the unusual, such as pineapple. 

Sides: Fries and onion rings as you would expect to find, however they are too exceptional to be lumped in with your traditional burger accompaniments. They range from 1. 97 for fries and 2.79 for the acclaimed 'best onion rings in the nation'

Burgers: The crowning glory of this establishment! (as one would hope from a burger joint) Red Mill has your standard items such as a classic cheeseburger and a bacon burger, but they also make a MEAN bleu cheese bacon burger, and their special Verde Burger. What makes the Verde Burger special? That would be the fresh roasted, hand peeled anaheim peppers that are laid tenderly on each Verde patty. What is an anaheim pepper? It happens to be a mild chili pepper originating from New Mexico, it has a sweet flavor and a very mild spice, so even those who can't take heat can enjoy them.  The burger prices range from 3.49 to 6.49.

The Food Was All That AND a Bag of Chips....or Fries, Whatever.

I settled for my usual burger choice, the bacon burger. Along with a side of fries and a medium drink, my meal came to roughly 10$, which is to be expected from a meidum food place (Medium food: Not sit down where you are there for awhile, and not fast food where you drive through and have your food in 30 seconds. Medium food is places like Subway and Teriyaki places) After roughly 7 minutes, our order was called, and I saw our food for the first time. It was so beautiful I almost cried.

The first bite was like a dream. Each individual ingredient stood out as I bit into the tender morsel, my mouthful blending into a symphony of flavors that made my taste buds dance with pure delight.  The patty had a smokey char grilled aroma, and the juices oozed around fresh, firm tomatoes; cool, crisp lettuce; pickles that produces a satisfying crunch, and onions with just enough flavor to be noticed without being overpowering. Even with so much going on in my mouth, the centerpiece was by far the bacon. It was thick, firm, and perfectly cooked to that point where it is soft, but can still crunch when you bite into it. Did I mentioned it was PEPPERED? Yeah, it was. Each granuel of pepper melded with the overall flavor profile to ass a truly unique experience. I am a ketchup fiend, I load it on my burgers so heavily that it drips from the back and turns my wrapper into what looks like a murder scene. I do this without fail, and have never eaten a burger without at least half a bottle on it...until now. The thought of adding anything to this work of art hurt me like the thought of graffiti on the Mona Lisa. It was by far the best burger I have ever had the pleasure to consume.  On a side note: I was able to take a bite of my sister's bacon bleu cheese burger, and it was just as amazing. The tang of the cheese paired with the tomato and the slightly sweet kaiser roll like the heavens themselves demanded their union.

You may be wondering "hey, what about those onion rings we keep hearing about?" Well I tried those too, how could I not? They are breaded in a cornmeal based breading, which may be unusual for some, but they had a very satisfying crunch and the proper onion flavor.  In my personal opinion, they weren't the best, but they were still good. I tend to like a beer batter over the cornmeal batter due to the fact that I think the cornmeal adds an odd mouth feel. The fries, however, were a different story. They were the picture of french fry perfection. The outsides had a beautiful golden brown coating, and even ones that looked like they may be soft on the outside yielded a crunch that was like music to my ears. Once through the golden shell, the inside was tender and hot, everything you could ever want from a french fry.

On the burger scale, I would give Red Mill Burgers a 10 out of 10. I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone with the desire for a good burger.  Would I go back again? HELL YES. I would go back even if it was a 2 hour drive. The food is great, the price is right, and it was a great adventure. Go there. Seriously.

Tune in next week when I tackle another fun filled culinary adventure! Keep on eating, everyone!